I Want My Bird
by BoxOfScraps
Summary: Too Bad, WALUIGI TIME!


"And here they come, around the track for the second lap!" Toad commentator number one, with the red spots on his freaky mushroom head, said. Down below the booth the Mario Kart racers were at it again, going for the gold cup in the first of many races, in the basic figure eight track. "Mario is in first, followed by Wario, and then Peach and...well...those other guys, whatever."

"'Those other guys'" the second Toad commentator retorted. "Very nice, Bob, I see your vocabulary has yet to expand...much like your dick in action."

The other Toad covered his microphone and glared at his friend. "You son of a bitch..."

Meanwhile, down on the track, Mario was far in the lead, dragging along 3 banana peels behind him. "Ha ha! Good luck, chubby one!" He shouted back to Wario.

Wario, in his Wariomobile, quickly pulled out a red shell that he picked up and aimed for Mario. "I'll-a teach you who's the loser and-a who's the winner!" He laughed wildly as he tossed the shell...only for it to fail and destroy one of Mario's trailing bananas. "Well...shit."

Behind him, the blissfully unaware of anything Peach was driving along, humming. "What a beautiful day." She fixed a tuft of hair in her rear view mirror, not noticing a Bomb-omb was tossed in front of her. "Stupid curl..." She moved slightly, also causing her to move the wheel, just getting herself out of the way of the bomb.

As Mario headed around the track, hitting the starting line, the final lap begun...but a figure stepped out onto the track. He pulled out some giant mechanical electric arm thingamabob and hit the front of Mario's kart, sending it flying. Mario survived somehow, as he crawled out of the wreckage.

"Where's my bird?" The long haired Russian-like dude asked to the injured Mario. He looked in front of him and saw Wario coming, and he cut Wario's car in half, also sending him flying...Wario wasn't as lucky though and did not survive...but natural death did it, not the crash, as he had a heart attack (due to his massive weight) in the air. "Where's my bird?"

"Uh-oh!" Peach exclaimed as she headed near Whiplash. She tried to move, but Whiplash swung with all his might, only to be stopped just before he hit her car, thanks to a shot of light somewhere. Peach hit him full force into a fence. "Sorry!" She giggled a bit.

"Where's my bird..." Whiplash muttered, in between a fence and a car's place. (Yeah, it's a joke...LAUGH!)

Iron Man flew down and landed next to Peach's kart. "I am Iron Man, and I got your bird..." He proceeded to doubly flip off Whiplash. "RIGHT HERE!" Needless to say, Whiplash was not happy with this and started to move. "Oh shit, hit him again, hit him again!" Tony shouted, but it was too late.

Whiplash shoved Peach's kart out of the way and activated his laser whips again. "WHERE'S...MY...**BIRD?"** He aimed for Iron Man, who DID A BARREL ROLL out of the way and shot Whiplash in the balls with his repulsor ray. "My birdie...I HAVE FAILED YOU!" Whiplash shouted unhumanly into the sky and then fell on the ground, dead from his junk getting 'sploded.

"A deed is done." Iron Man's mask raised as he clapped his hands a bit, getting rid of the dust on them. He turned to see Princess Peach getting out of her vehicle. "Looks like it's time to have a second helping of some...Peach." Tony licked his lips and walked over to Peach, immediately engaging her in some hot crossover kissing action.

Mario, who ate a mushroom and healed himself apparently, stormed over and was about to deal with Tony, but was quickly blasted out of the way and into a pond nearby.

Tony and Peach parted lips and looked at each other...until Daisy came walking by. "A new model..." He shoved Peach away and approached Daisy...but suddenly he saw someone in the distance. His eyes grew wider, and some cheesy singing hearts floated up behind him, singing loudly as he saw...Yoshi approaching. "Oh...my...god...I have to hit that." He flew on his heels, just above the ground, over to the fucking green dinosaur. "Can...can I ride you?" He asked, maybe with a bit of a...different sense of the meaning though. Yoshi cocked his head to the right, confused.

MEANWHILE...Whiplash's ghost appeared where he was killed and looked around. "Okay..." He stated. "Seriously guys, has anyone seen my fuckin' bird?"

Suddenly...a Drifloon Pokemon floated up from the ground and wrapped its...strings around his ankles and dragged the screaming Whiplash to the deepest depths of the underworld. He plopped him down next to a blue fire, where ghost Wario and ghost...ghost Nappa, apparently, were sitting.

"Nothin' like a nice warrrrm fire to cool your tail, right Vegeta?" Nappa asked Wario, thinking he was Vegeta, stupidly.

"For the last-a time, I'M NOT-A VEGETA! I'M WARIO! **WARIO**!" He shouted, getting a nice, unhappy 'SHUT UP!' from all the other underworld residence. "I'm-a Wario, dammit..."

Nappa patted Wario on the shoulder a bit. "There there...you can cry on my shoulder if you need to, Vegeta."

"YAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" Wario immediately shouted as he tried to strangle Ghost Nappa, only to fail...as he IS a ghost after all.

A bird flew in from the window, cause...there's totally a window in the underworld, and landed on Whiplash's shoulder. "BIRDIE!"


End file.
